The Power of Embracing Emotions
My first memory of letting my emotions get the best of me was on the playground when I was in preschool. I was hanging out with a few friends, including one boy whom I remember really wanting to impress at the time. We were too young to call it puppy love, but he had a certain something that I knew to be cool, and I liked flying close to the sun.
The group was playing with bugs. I had a wide range of interests at the time, thank you very much. We were letting those little pill bugs that roll into a ball when you touch them crawl across our fingers, taking joy in betting on whether they would go around our digits or bravely traverse the finger highway shortcut. Then something happened that would forever change how I felt about Mr. Cool.
The teacher signaled that playtime was over and called us all back into the classroom. As the other kids in my group ran back inside, I stayed behind, hoping to walk back in with him. He flipped over the pill bug that was on his finger and slowly began pulling the legs, one at a time, off the poor little creature. A slow, evil smile spread across his face as he did the deed. He then tossed the poor bug on the ground and stepped on it. As he laughed and started to walk away, leaving me looking on in horror, tears began to fill my eyes.
Something important to know about me is that, to my recollection, I was a good kid. I didn’t act up in the classroom. I did as I was told, never a tantrum to be had. I never even raised my voice or questioned authority – with the exception of my parents, and that wouldn’t come for a few more years. But I could not allow this injustice to stand. And I let my emotions burst free from my tiny body.
I ran over to him and pushed him to the ground. Tears running down my face, I yelled at him and told him he was horrible. The teacher ran over and was shocked that I had ‘acted out’. Now, this was back in the 70s, so nothing more than a quick chat with my parents and his parents occurred, and then it was never mentioned again. But he was henceforth labeled the bug killer and lost a little of his hold over the girls in our class. I was mortified that I’d gotten in trouble as a result of letting my emotions get the best of me. That was the first, last, and only time I can recall laying hands on another classmate.
The Importance of Emotions in Daily Life
Nowadays, it’s more common to see me expressing emotion through crying – at the drop of a hat. ASPCA commercial – crying. Favorite restaurant goes out of business due to hardship – hello tears. Friend posts a beautiful dedication to their mom on Facebook – break out the tissues. But emotions like joy and peace come just as easily. When I’m looking out over an ocean, pasture, or beautiful landscape, my heart beats faster, my skin tingles, my body feels warm. Emotions are an essential part of what makes us human. They guide our choices and connect us more deeply with ourselves and others.
Yet, there’s a lingering myth that showing emotion – especially in professional settings or within reserved families – is a sign of weakness. On the contrary, tuning into our emotions and expressing them respectfully is a sign of strength and self-awareness. Embracing our feelings can lead to better communication, healthier relationships, and personal growth, no matter where we are or who we’re with.
Emotions in a Professional Settings: Breaking Stereotypes
The workplace often comes with unspoken rules about emotional expression. In many offices, showing too much emotion might be seen as unprofessional, but these stereotypes can be limiting. Emotions are not the enemy of professionalism, in fact, they can be the bridge to greater understanding and collaboration. When employees feel safe expressing their emotions, they’re more likely to engage, collaborate, and innovate.
Some benefits of showing emotions in the workplace include:
Authentic Relationships: Expressing genuine feelings helps build trust among colleagues. When people feel comfortable sharing both positive and negative emotions, it fosters a supportive environment.
Improved Communication: Emotions often convey what words cannot. A manager’s empathy, a teammate’s enthusiasm, or a leader’s vulnerability can inspire and motivate others in powerful ways.
Better Decision-Making: Recognizing and expressing emotions can lead to more thoughtful decision-making. Ignoring feelings may result in choices that overlook important factors or impact morale.
Enhanced Well-Being: Suppressing emotions can contribute to stress, burnout, and even health issues. Allowing oneself – and others – to be emotionally honest promotes mental wellness and job satisfaction.
Emotions in a Conservative Family: It’s Okay to Be Different
Growing up in a reserved, conservative family often means learning to keep your emotions in check. Displays of excitement, sadness, or even joy might be met with gentle reminders to “compose yourself” or “keep it together.” For many, this environment can feel safe and reassuring. But for those who feel things deeply and wish to express emotions more openly, it can also feel stifling. The truth is, showing emotions – even in a family that values restraint – is not wrong. In fact, it’s perfectly okay to be different.
My father’s side of the family was more reserved when it came to sharing emotions, while you couldn’t leave a family function on my mom’s side without getting told “I love you” at least three times. It caused some confusion for me early on, but I ultimately decided that I was going to rain down all the emotion that I wanted onto any family member who would take it, and if they didn’t want it – I’d create distance. Because the one thing I taught myself, in addition to ‘it’s okay to be different’ in a family that is all over the place, is that you can choose your family, just like you choose your friends. You may be born into a situation, but you do not have to choose to stay in that situation. Never settle for disrespect. You are worthy. You are special, and just because someone carries the label of ‘family’ it does not give them the right to negate how you feel and how you process your emotions.
Bottling up feelings can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems. When you allow yourself to show your true emotions, you’re taking care of your mental and emotional well-being. Being different isn’t just okay – it’s wonderful. Families thrive on diversity, even when it comes to how we process and show our feelings. By embracing who you are, you give others permission to do the same. Respect your family’s values but also honor your own need to be authentic.
The Importance of Listening to Your Subconscious
Have you ever had a gut feeling about a situation or felt uneasy without knowing why? That’s your subconscious and emotions at work. Listening to these internal cues isn’t just “being sensitive”—it’s tapping into a valuable source of insight. Our emotions often alert us to what’s really going on, even when our rational mind hasn’t caught up yet. By acknowledging and exploring these feelings, we make stronger, more informed decisions and avoid overlooking important details.
Often, I rely on mindfulness techniques to connect to my emotions during times like this and to tap into my subconscious. A brief guided meditation or short breathing exercise can help identify what I’m feeling and what my mind and body need at that moment.
Handling Discomfort: Strategies for Dealing with Others’ Unease
It’s natural to encounter situations where others feel uncomfortable with emotional expression. A colleague may seem uneasy when you share concern, or a family member might withdraw when feelings are discussed. Here’s how to navigate these moments:
Lead by example: Express your emotions calmly and respectfully, showing that it’s safe and constructive to do so.
Respect boundaries: Notice when someone isn’t ready to open up and give them space but gently let them know you’re available when they are.
Use “I” statements: Share your feelings from your own perspective (“I feel…”) rather than making accusations (“You make me feel…”).
Practice patience: Changing emotional norms takes time. Celebrate small steps and remain supportive, even if progress is slow.
Emotional Intelligence: What It Is and Why It Matters
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions—and to empathize with others. High EQ isn’t just about being “in touch” with your feelings; it’s about using emotions as a tool for better decision-making, problem-solving, and relationship-building. People with strong emotional intelligence communicate more effectively, handle stress better, and navigate social situations with greater ease. In both the workplace and at home, EQ is a superpower that helps us adapt, connect, and thrive.
Practical Tips for Nurturing Emotional Health
Just as we care for our physical health, nurturing our emotional well-being is equally important. Here are some simple practices to foster emotional health:
Check in with yourself: Take a few minutes each day to notice how you’re feeling and why. Most meditation apps (I use Calm) have a ‘check-in’ feature that allow you to do this. It’s helpful to track your progress over the course of time.
Share your feelings: Open up to a trusted friend, family member, or colleague about what’s on your mind.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing or journaling, help us stay present and grounded.
Seek support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you’re struggling with overwhelming emotions.
Set healthy boundaries: It’s okay to say no or ask for what you need emotionally. I have resources available for setting boundaries on my YouTube channel (@juliedoneymindfulness).
Remember, emotional health isn’t about always feeling happy—it’s about understanding, expressing, and managing your feelings in a healthy way.
Embracing Emotions for a Healthier Life
Showing emotions, whether at work, with family, or within yourself, is not a weakness – it’s one of your greatest strengths. From preschool to adulthood, there will be many times when your emotions will get the best of you and when your emotions will anchor the best memories in your lifetime. Live in your authentic self. Laugh until you cackle. Let those tears flow. By tuning into your subconscious, expressing your feelings, and nurturing your emotional health, you’re not only improving your relationships but also enhancing your overall well-being.
Embrace your emotions, listen to what they’re telling you, and encourage those around you to do the same. Together, we can create a more empathetic and emotionally intelligent world, where understanding and compassion lead the way. Pass the tissues, please.
Learn more about nurturing your emotional health by reading my book Scented Wellness: A Guide to Emotional and Mental Health Using Essential Oils. Available now on Amazon!
