10 ways my dog inspired me to experience joy

These past two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions as I’ve helped a close friend prepare for his mom’s memorial service. I’ve had to deal with a resurgence of my own memories from my mom’s passing, while also being flooded with thoughts of what’s to come for my mother-in-law who has terminal cancer. Being in the caretaker role in my family for decades, I’ve become pretty good at compartmentalizing, but my body quickly showed me this past week that even the strongest can only namaste so much.

Yesterday I learned that another of my friends lost their mom, and I could literally hear the internal workings of my brain begin to shut down as I read the text message. I was incapable of processing anymore grief at that moment. I couldn’t even reach out to my friend in need. I shuffled to bed like a zombie, had a restless sleep, and awoke with a blasting headache. But…

This is not a blog about grief, heartache, and despair.

When I awoke, my dog, Bella Rose, was lying next to me. She is a 100 lb. Rhodesian/Pitty mix and has never met a human or dog whom she doesn’t love or who doesn’t love her in return. She is my companion, my emotional support, my bestie. She picks up on everything. She also has lymphoma and is just about to finish her final treatment of chemo. So, as I awoke feeling the remnants of grief from the day before and looked into her sweet face, I began spiraling thinking about her future. Old habits suck. But Bella wasn’t having it. She checked me immediately, gave me a big, sloppy dog kiss – as if to say, ‘Snap out of it!’ – and booped my cheek. If I hadn’t already decided to change the direction of my thoughts, a slobbery kiss and head boop from a 100-pound dog was motivation enough!

As I was getting ready, ways that I could elevate my mood began running through my mind, so I began jotting them down. I’m sharing them here in hopes that they will help you when you too are feeling in need of a pick-me-up, and you don’t have a 100 lb. Pitty mix lying in bed with you. Stay mighty.

1. Lift your face to the sun. Sounds so simple, but first thing in the morning go outside, find a ray of sun, lift your face and just soak it in for a few minutes. Be thankful. It helps set your circadian rhythm, feels good, and is enjoyable first thing when it’s not as hot outside.

2. Enhance your calm. You knew this one was coming if you follow me. Mindfulness is key for peace in your life. Get your breath work in with some 4x4 breathing. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold at the top for 2 breaths, exhale for 4 counts, wait for 2 counts, then repeat the cycle three more times.

3. Smell the roses. Cliché, I know but I was on a walk the other day and this one house had the most beautiful rose bushes. After I checked for a Ring cam (I didn’t want to be blasted on NextDoor), I took a step onto their property and smelled their rose bush. The smell instantly lit up my senses and made me smile. My grandmother had rose bushes on her property and it took me back, sparking great memories.

4. Hug a friend. Not the side hug, not the one arm hug, not the hug because you have to. A real, I care about you hug. There is nothing like a good, long squeeze from a friend who loves you to take away the pain you are feeling. I bet you know the friend I’m talking about. Go, get your hug.

5. Explore. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. This could be a hiking trail, a shopping center, a thrift shop you’ve been wanting to check out, a park, anywhere you’ve been wanting to go but haven’t taken the time. Now is the time. Make the time. Doing something new stimulates your brain and brings on the happy hormones.

6. Dance it out. I’ve yet to meet someone who was not affected by music. Put on your favorite song or album and dance it out in the kitchen. Sing your heart out in the car. Have an impromptu concert in your bedroom. This is my favorite way to elevate my mood and works every time.

7. Give yourself a pep talk in the mirror. I have to shout out Mel Robbins here, because I learned this from her. When I’m feeling extra in the negative self-talk department first thing in the morning, I look in the mirror and give myself a pep talk. Here’s an example of something I might say to myself. FYI, I like to swear. “You are f-ing amazing. You are a take no sh!t, boss @ss woman who can do anything you set your mind to. You believe in yourself above anything else. You are here to help people, so they don’t have to suffer like you did. Failure is not an option.”

8. Volunteer. Service feeds the soul. When I volunteer it creates a feeling inside of me like the feeling I get when I do steps 1-7, joy. My niche is animal welfare organizations. The happiness I feel when I’m helping those without a voice is overwhelming at times. I’ve been volunteering for two decades with various organizations, and I now stick with just one full time. Find an org who treats its volunteers with respect and kindness and whose mission is in line with your values. You’ll find a new level of joy that will last for many years to come.

9. Move your body. Our inclination when we are feeling down is to curl up in bed or sit on the couch with our favorite snack. Been there, done that…still do! It’s scientifically proven that getting your heart beating faster releases chemicals in the brain that improve your mood. So, whether you like to run, walk, workout with weights, or swim – get moving to shake off the slump.

10. Spend time with animals. A perfect ending considering Bella helped inspire this blog. Our pets are so innocent. All they want is to care for and love us. Even my sassy 17-year-old cat, Lacey Jane. We often get busy with our lives and shuffle past our pets, not appreciating that they are there, watching us, waiting for attention. Take the time. Hug your dog. Pet your cat. Strengthen your bond. Trust me, it will circle back in ways that will surprise you. Perhaps an early morning cheek boop, or inspiration for how to feel more joy in your life. Animals are amazingly perceptive.